I’d stop being rational. I felt so tired being rational. When those negative feelings/thoughts come rushing in, I'll just throw them onto someone else. And when someone else mention about some sensitive issue that had happened on those days, I’ll just shut my mind and start yelling.

Life has been uneasy for me.

Honestly, I felt like everything in my life is crumbling. I’m like a statue, just looking at the people around me, not moving on while everyone is.

Everyone said I have to move on. I know I should, I know I must, but am I moving on now? I don’t know. Everything makes me felt so empty. No because. I just felt empty.

I’m all alone now, facing and dealing everything alone.

I’m like a fern that keeps growing on other trees but not by my own.

I’m like a computer that keeps shutting up to make my ears and my heart less achy.

I’m a selfish bitch.

**

Why? Why am I still thinking about you? I have to stop. really.

I like you, but I really want to deny it. I’ve been brushing off these feelings for a while, but it’s not easy. I wish I could tell myself to stop liking you. In the end, someone will get hurt, Me.

So you tell me, what should I do, to make me feel better?