I don’t know whether I have face problem, or whether my clothes are dull or unfashionable, or whether my feng shui in class is not good, people ignore my presence all the time. Yes, I might be a spoiler when people invite me for a window shopping session, but sorry I’m not those types of people who shop aimlessly when they have the time to do their own work. Plus, I enjoy rotting at home. So is that the reason that makes me the odd one?

Yea I know I’m just plain spoiler. I asked people whether they finish their assignments, finish studying or understand the lectures when they are having an enthusiastic conversation about their weekend. Blah blah blah.

So, until some times ago, I finally stop talking in class, stop joking around with people, stop being the all-time-sampatest person. And now, I couldn’t find the way to start a convo with them. I kept quiet and watched all their actions, speech, relations growing stronger. I became the spectator of the show.

But I'm all positive :). No I won't hope for any changes because it showed a result of hopeless for the past four months.

All I need to do now is stop injecting anaesthetic to myself and start to realize what kind of world/class I’d been living in. Yes. Keep yourself awake eesuen! If you start pretending that nothing is wrong, it won’t make you feel any better and btw you're SUCK at pretending to be okay when you're not. too easy to read huh! And stop thinking that you’re in a lousy situation because there are people out there who have worst.

The worst has yet to come.

Well, I will start preparing for ‘em by putting up invisible bricks. :).

p/s : sometimes I do wonder whether it's my problem or theirs. I wonder whether did I showed them any annoyance during classes, or showed them any "sorry I'm not interested in what you're talking" look. and then I'll keep wondering........keep wondering......................